Being the mother of my five precious children; all in adulthood now, and grandmother of 8 adorable grandies, is the MOST wonderful and blessed vocation in life I can think of. More than a few times, friends and acquaintances exclaim and think “I have fallen off my perch” when I innocently but genuinely admit I would go back and DO IT ALL AGAIN !!
When I arrived in Australia in 1973 with my Dad’s work in the oil business I fell in love. I fell in love with Australia and in time I also fell in love with a young man in my last year of high school. We married and raised our 5 “billy lids” up in the Northern Territory. Jamie Luke, our only son, is our second born and of course this has always incorporated a myriad of fun, extraordinary and of course; memorable and even tough times.
Jamie was born with a contagious sense of humor that has carried on to this very day despite the struggle and battle of his diagnosis. He was very athletic at school and though very bright at school studies, decided in the latter part of high school to start an apprenticeship in carpentry and cabinet making and leave school. Because of his hard working ethic he excelled in his chosen field and over the years has become a Class A cabinet maker and kitchen designer.
When Jamie was admitted to hospital in Sydney in December 2024 very ill, he called me. The words he spoke with a cracked voice and raspy throat riveted me to the wall! He simply said “Mum I’m in hospital, I think I’m dying”. I was in America at the time where I had been for a few years caring for my aging parents. Jamie was admitted to hospital in Sydney by his local doctor. Several blood tests determined that Jamie had indeed tested positive for leukaemia. I immediately prepared and planned my urgent travel to get back home to Australia and my darling precious son. Anyone who has a loved one; especially a child diagnosed with a life threatening disease knows the horrible shock and adrenaline that rushes through your mind, body and spirit. Floods of emotions and sleeplessness, tears and fears fight hard for dominance. However my resolute determination to get to Jamie as soon as humanly possible took charge and as always with my beloved children, nothing would or could stop me getting to my son.
Upon my arrival our reunion was exhilarating despite being bitter sweet. The attending Specialists and medical staff caring for Jamie worked very hard to determine the best course of quick and effective action upon revelation that the particular leukaemia he had was rare and very aggressive. The first bone biopsy performed determined the condition was Mixed Phenotype (T. Myeloid) Acute Leukaemia. Because of the rare nature of this type of blood disease, a very intense and complex approach to treating Jamie commenced rather quickly.
As Jamie’s mother I remained at his side day and night and was allowed to stay with Jamie at the Blacktown and Westmead Hospitals during his several admissions over the last year and a half. The staff have been awesome and we have been so very well cared for. There have been lots of laughs with the staff as well. I can truly say the Specialists and Nursing staff have definitely gone FAR and ABOVE the call of duty caring for my son. At the very top of my “gratitude list” we have had the privilege of being excellently cared for by the Arrow Foundation. Janna and her team at Arrow have shown the most precious and unequalled care for Jamie and I during this very turbulent and heart wrenching time. The Foundation is founded on love and compassion and we sincerely love them. All the folks who have engaged and assisted us through their ministries and departments we give thanks also. Our friends and family have showered and sheltered us in love and prayer so Jamie and I feel extremely blessed and special indeed!
To all the mothers who are going through this kind of journey know you are not alone! During those times when I feel lonely, inadequate, scared and exhausted I remember all the wonderful, kind and sacrificial acts bestowed upon us still to this day and allow gratitude to abound in my turbulent heart. I am continuously washed over with peace.
One thing that has particularly helped me is painting pictures in my mind. Some I share with Jamie and some with family. A particular picture I see in my mind I “painted” after the bone marrow transplant. Jamie was always very good at school in swimming and athletics. As a matter of fact he was a top sprinter in his school throughout primary school and was often chosen in the relays to be the “anchor”. I shared with Jamie my picture in story form and told him of the many races won in school competitions with his position as anchor and his speed. I shared with him that together we were in the last part of this race and to NOT LOOK BACK at your opponents, but to look straight ahead and fix your eye on the goal : WINNING!! I exclaim to him “Now is your time to run and as hard as you have ever done before son “RUN”. He likes that vision.
The other picture story I tell him often is to imagine his bone marrow donor is a soldier in his uniform and he is bolstering Jamie up during battle after he’s been wounded. The soldier is getting him to safety from the enemy. “KEEP GOING , We’re gonna make it” Jamie’s brother in arms shouts amidst the noise. These and other tools I have been using to keep us both motivated and encouraged. The hardest thing is to be wise and sagacious in my choice of words. I have learnt to listen more and JUST listen, not always jump to answer or offer a solution.
Today, after this long journey with yet a while to go, Jamie often times still shadow boxes with uncertainty and questions. We have both found that laughter works well for us both and I have encouraged him to keep drawing his cartoons. They are hilarious and we may write a book one day about this “S.O.S. JOURNEY”.
How can one sum this all up in one sentence as a Mum? I’ll always be a lioness at heart when it comes to my children; ready to pounce and protect my “cubs” but in the end we must accept there are some things we can change and some things we cannot. We need the wisdom to know the difference BUT STILL ALWAYS make a difference in their precious lives.